Nevaeh is a 14-year-old girl living in Pennsylvania at the start of this story around the 2000s. The feeling of the story is just because she is the small girl in her class, and has other kids, classmates, mother, grandmother, and even her guardian, putting her down, does not mean that Navaeh cannot rise above all the hatred and shine.
On the darkest day of her human life, Nevaeh commits suicide. However, that is not the end of her young life, but the start of a miraculous supernatural life beginning. Neveah remembered as the girl who existed. In the notebooks of her life.
Likewise, in a town, that to her is just as backward as her temperament is at times. Just like her name spelling also, she lives a life of bullying.
Nevaeh feels that death is a way out of the pain. Before she passes, she lives her life out to see all that she has lost by choosing to relinquish to death, at the age of 14.
Leading into an afterlife story in the books to come of her becoming a fallen angel. An evil entity with wickedness, wanting pain, and death is always lurking in the darkness of cobwebbed-filled minds she has obtained from twisted brainwashing.
Nevaeh becomes lost in her mind, and the minds of others as more points of view as the story progresses, in this new afterlife. One Naddalin, unknown sister, of many siblings.
Top POVs other than Nevaeh
Small town Pennsylvania, Nevaeh May Natalie was born in 1996. Bullied by teachers and students alike, to name some Mr. Mendocino, Mr. DeVolcano all call her to retard and braindead to her in class. Made to be Sped-Ed yet is brilliant. Had child Jaylynn Naztherth, lost child, to suited death at the same school with the same teachers, as she went too. Hold on to a teddy bear, to feel safe, at most times, thumb-sucker, and sad to be regressed in mentalities, to 2nd grade. She loved’s Lily, before marriage. Nevaeh is mysterious, attractive, and creative. Eyelashes could put you in a trance as she blinked.
She is so petite in her stature, 95 lbs high voice, dislikes school, and her hometown. Is jailed for anything and everything. Loves the color pink, and artwork. 8 siblings yet felt alone.
Naddalin Natalie was born, the daughter of Leah and Ray. She had six sisters. She died on July 19, 1995. (Still Born death the same day as birth.) Titus Back is the stepdad and oversees this child’s way.
Chiaz Naztherth was born in 1997. He had one daughter with Nevaeh May Natalie. The sentimental romantic boy- to man, coal mining in the upcoming stories, meets his love in Highschool.
Lily Anderson and her twin sister Nevaeh May were born on July 19, 1995. She had six sisters. Known for her pigtails John Jackson pulled them in class and was too shy and soft-spoken. Mr. Anderson, take the part of dad. Is dating Nevaeh on and off as a gay girl. Her hobbies include drawing, singing in her church’s choir, and braiding her hair with ribbons that match her outfits. picked on by J.A Cowering. Lily is (Sped-ED)
Candy Sheldon, Elizabeth Smith, Megan Davis, Taylor Brown, Joseph Shaw, Kassie Row, Kassie Row, and even the teacher Miss. Stackawitz is a distraction to her and picks on her daily saying names of slander.
Adriane Amsel was born around 2002, the daughter of Leah. She had one brother and six sisters.
She is a junior in the family. She has black hair with red tips. She has green cat eyes.
She is squat and bumpy, emo-gothic, and a ringleader. She is satanic, manipulating, and brainwashes prey.
Sarah was born, the daughter of Leah. She had one brother and seven sisters. She died in 1997. Death by mother, in shaking / washing machines. Also is The Girl in the Window.
Alissa Amsel was born, the daughter of Leah. She had one brother and six sisters. Is a blonde hair, blue-eyed girl; she cannot weigh any more than one hundred pounds, yet she is taller than most of the boys’ kind of gangly looking, the main squeeze, of the girls, bullying gang of the clan sisters, Alissa, she towers in her overall authority, control, and influence, in the society’s ranking of a rheostat in the high school, having mom, dad, and grandpop behind every move of taking over. Alissa is a senior the head cheerleader, she makes everyone that she wants to be associated with being her friend, and the ones she does not want to be her fools. A refusal to bow down to her authority, she does everything in her power, to make your life miserable; Alissa is constantly smothering Chiaz Naztherth, with her crazed oversexed clingy on Nevaeh’s lover.
Ava Amsel was born on November 19, 2000, the daughter of Leah. She had one brother and six sisters. The takeover of all wicked, she has a crush on Nevaeh, it’s not wrong if you are the law, is a brown-haired girl she, is so petite, yet she is bigger than Nevaeh, athlete, not coordinated, scholarship holder, anybody she wants popular as mating, liar, oversexed, the fourteen-year-old curving object of desire is Nevaeh.
Jaylynn Naztherth was born, the daughter of Nevaeh and Chiaz. Suicide died within her high school, losing a baby within her body. Her mother Nevaeh May passed away in 2010 at the age of 15, yet has angle immoralities.
Devein Chino was born, the son of Leah. He has seven sisters. Death by the hands of his mother, and dad.
Leah Amsel had a child with Ray Jay Natalie and another that was taken away, and many- other than Nevaeh. All the children with other men, 6 girls other Nevaeh, and 1 boy, having kids at a young age. She worked for an orphanage as a caregiver. Lost ownership of all Nevaeh, and her kids.
When Ray Jay Natalie was born in 1957, his mother, Hope was 24 he had one son and four daughters with Leah Amsel he died in 1993 at the age of 36. He likes classic bricks and loved his baby girls.
Benjamin Huber Black was born, the son of Hope Natalie-Black. He had one brother. He died on September 11, 2001, in New York.
Hope Natalie-Black was born in 1933. She had one son in 1957. She died in 2010 at the age of 77. Lost son in the war, took over the part of the mother for Nevaeh.
Grandpa Amsel had one daughter with Masel Amsel. Wartime, given in the Vietnam war, only town cop, PTSD, he was nothing more than a revolutionary and seducer.
Masel Amsel had one daughter with Grandpa Amsel. Owner of a large home with graveyard executes children within orphanage for fun, caretaker of trust by the town, of over 200 kids ages five up to fourteen. Also, the town Meyer, and overseer of all that is population.
Titus Back had a child with Leah, that true- child is unknown. Yet he calls himself the stepdad, to one of the children that Leah had, yet is not sure, yet ends up looking after Naddalin, in the afterlife.
On with the story, Nevaeh has to learn the hard way in everything she does, in this supernatural life.
She has to see everything she was giving up by dying. Nevaeh’s tormentors the four Amsel sisters will try to destroy her though-out all the books, as evil angels.
The problem is Nevaeh has a hex of losing everyone she has loved- after her death as punishment, like her baby girl Jaylynn and husband- and all to come, to the point she wants to give up on love altogether- yet that can happen when she is immortal.
The fix, she helps other girls that pass young, that have fallen see their way, in a world of the afterlife of enchantment and wizardry.
Moving on with one of many backstories, Nevaeh’s granddaughter finds out true love prevails overall, just like real life. Kristen’s grandchild of Nevaeh becomes the new target she is kidnapped- and the hex is passed down the line; however, fate has its twist.
Kristen learns how to fight in the U.S. Marine Corps. Karly and Maggie- and all the other girls in the story are all mixed up teen girls giving their life stories, girlfriends, boyfriends, and dating making out and up, hooking up, and all that makes popular- or not.
One other story that is a backstory to Nevaeh is Karly Barnes, the girl with blue hair.
Think about all the photos that you post remembering- they just might be your legacy of being nothing more than an internet nudist.
Karly’s- secret life on a chat room site- and her love for a girl, and the boy that was nothing, the loser in school, and the one that was everything too- in this story this- girl dies many times until she has an epiphany.
The BFF, Jenny the head of everything makes this girl, and her BFFs do what she asked even if that means giving up on what Karly loves.
The BFFs that like-like each other, Liv- and Maddie take things to the next leave, on top of school, yet popularity prevails, as more important. The suggestive chat room for girls to be on their backsides becomes Karly’s life, yet it’s a fast buck and makes her feel wanted and popular. Steamy, juice, wet, raw, hot, lustful, teen girl’s lives with dreamy boys, or that wrong but the right girl at the time of why not all out there, just like you.
The moral in the backstory, to explain the front story is, a picture is worth 1,000 words!
The plot of Karly is left out yet only in her mind, she feels at this point- Karly. Who doesn’t whom she wants to love? And who loves her- back. Haunted by her past she wants the old days back- when she was a freshmen girl liking a boy and a girl- and not sure on either. The first-ever story is about a CAM girl in her teen years of high school, the secret life of an agave teen girl that needs to feel wanted.
Twist in the plot of Nevaeh, Children being locked up for years in the oubliette of a room with others, and finding her new freedom, like with girls of the past too, remembering Lilly imprisonment- with Nevaeh foe, locked in an orphanage of incest and creepy bounding, torched for the joy of her owner- the 4 girl’s mother, treated worse than a dog. Nevaeh is broken mentally, emotionally psychologically, and spiritually, the evenly she went mad because I was not there for her. Numbered with ID tag-ring- hanging the privets.
Death, drugs, partying, and anarchy, are all about being popular right- well what it is like for Maggie- the one that is not, you’ll see both sides of the stories of teen girls and boys that make life just suck.
Backstory, Ray and Karly are on and off- and the cute sweet boy is looking for love to yet, not with Karly.
Liv and Maddie are just being GAY lovers!
They say you fall in love only once but every time, I see her I fall in love with her all over again and again. Dating- fun- drinking- getting high- boys music- friends- not loving mom or dad- or just a dad. Loving too much in one way, and not enough in others. Girls talking about the nasty sex your mom and dad don’t know about- end!
Twist, It all started when I opened up a suitcase and found my Dollie… Noah and Rallie and Sam and friends set off on one last adventure to lay the princess’s ghost to rest- the ghost of a girl who will not rest until the bone-china doll is buried in her unfilled grave. In middle school now, and if there is a ghost, creepy, and haunting, will it let them go now that it has them in its grab? Is the doll just a doll or something eviler? Noah pop pushes him to give up fantasy, and Noah quits the game of play yet- not all the way.
But then nothing goes according to plan, and as their adventure turns into a larger-than-life voyage, creepy things begin to happen. Their relationship might be over until one of them announces she’s been having dreams about the princess. And this creepy creeper dollie!
I am looking at you- it said! Dollie was feeling me!
The backstory is a sweet love story of a nerdy boy and a popular girl! Nothing beats a long passionate kiss at a football game! Or the romp in the band room! Jenny is losing her mind- at this point!
Backstory, of a girl Nevaeh, helps, Haven- Rockville- A boy to girl story, of transgender, and alternative education, over sexual identities.
Haven is held back in school, and made gifted, over her changes, has a hard time fitting in until she meets three triplets, and her life changes dramatically.
The school like all in this long story, is very wrong to those that misunderstand her- and all the others, she is just a girl- that is just trying to find the real girl that she feels that she is on the inside, that she believed always was there.
The BFFs of Haven, one of the triplet girls- that back Havens family- loses a child and have one Haven take her place- in a way for the mother, in the home, even if she is not identical to the others- they all become like sisters.
Naddalin is a young girl who finds the link to the past, is a train that she falls to, in all ways; that is just as possessed as she is by it. The train takes over her body mind and soul, as she starts at wizard schooling, a hidden railway to a new world of good versus evil where all the girls that have passed to young go too before their reasoned; to their new projects to linger within other minds.
The magic starts here, in the afterlife world.
‘This is the story of a lover’s triangle… It was bad from the start. And it got worse in a hurry.’ A steam train for sale- dubbed ‘13’ by its original cantankerous owner- rusting away on a front lawn of their wizard neighborhood.
Her girlfriends know that Naddalin never- ever had much luck in the looks or popularity department, or taken an interest in owning something like this, but 13 quickly changes all that.
She suddenly has the newfound confidence to stick up for herself, going as far as dating the most beautiful girl at the wizard school, and even as a mysteriously restored 13 thoroughly and terrifyingly consumes every aspect of Naddalin's life.
Her girls and Leigh soon understand that they must uncover the awful truth behind a steam train, with a horrifying and murderous history. Hell, hath no fury like a woman scorned, and heaven helps anyone who gets in 13 ways… adventure to find a lost railway that links to the past with ghosts that talk with them, on the trip, to find the magic.
Backstory, Marcella is a girl that is locked in a room made to write a novel; Anna Kindrick is kidnapped by the same man named Steven- a man that is just nuts and claims to be her biggest fan. Anna, and Marcella- are typing the line in her bed with the laptop. That dies to the outside world.
Note: Naddalin is Nevaeh, in a twist of plot.
Naddalin- celebrates her 14th birthday, then goes back to when she was born. You see, she has lived in her Uncle and Aunt’s house. The letter she receives is an acceptance and invitation to study at the Skoufyceol Wizardry school for girls. A dark and wizardry in this world.
Naddalin will learn many things about wizardry from his teachers and Head Masters, and also from the other girls. She will meet and make friends, life, and death, and return to life from death, angels- black and white.
One death won’t change a world-mind, I don’t want to be another left behind. The mother Mazel of the 4 girls attempts to take over control of the world and Naddalin’s mind, body, and soul- over it is now split with Nevaeh- to keep her alive.
Naddalin gives up, one point and is lost, till she finds her way, in the most unlikely of places; A place for you, and a place for me, not quite hell, and never going to be a haven, if your fall, yet if death is calling what more can it be, then Hells purgatory, all crystal ball holds a life’s past, and Emmah final death, hold new life for her lover and best friend, yet well Emmah come back, like the girl we know and love, what the trade-off?
The evil problem is AVA and her Mother, will return and make permanent darkness for one, new girls will be welcomed to the school for girls, a marched around to remember why they’re not going down, they have come after a school shooting in their homeland on Earth to this new magical underworld world.
The taking down of the Dark Lord, Naddalin finds a way of having Nevaeh back in her life- and back in the world as a whole girl, as more than just part of Naddalin’s mind, they have a love for each other, and trust over everything else. Nevaeh finds her place as GOD, pushing away her past loves do it. God- is a woman? …In this world she is.
‘A story of lingering, liberty, and independence- like this one should not be glossed over, by others and will not, understand me, for the bravery, courage, and valor!’
Nevaeh becomes a deity- of her world, letting go of past demons. Naddalin is now on her own- lost in the body of an Earthy girl named Melisa they find a love for each other, and trust over everything else when she is made the chosen one.
Backstory, young Melisa- the younger in the fight- a star girl- the type that is not wanted in this overridden land- the Star Games and the Famine Wars- a cataclysmic modern-day holocaust, where the balances of life are their hands and in their erranding- a televised bloodbath- with young love- that what is all about- what drives you the most even in death eyes, preteenagers from parts in France are chosen at random to fight to the death. With the hope of young life to keep them alive.
Has a spacy, feeling, and new Earth they say, about starting a new race, on what was left of the old Earth, over the fact that Earth was taken over by bots Impressions of life, and the sun is dead, so to keep life going, Marcella had to find a new home on a plant called FDR, where new life there is not happy with us on are oncoming arrival, yet we have no choice, do we?
Starting a new race on FDR, over the fact that Earth was taken over by bots’ impressions, and the sun is dead, so to keep life going Marcella had to find a new home, where new life is not happy here and her on-coming arrivals of us to their planet. ‘THE SUN BLEW UP WITHOUT WARNING AND FOR NO APPARENT reason.
A world that which all books are not allowed to be read, so they are burnt… and a forbidden love airfare with the CEO. We burn books like most have the burning itch to have un-predicted sex now morning, like the alarm, going off to let me know so… its 7 am… on a Monday- and the year is 3070.
When literature student Marry goes to interview young entrepreneur CEO, she meets an individual who is lovely, dazzling, and intimidating.
The inexperienced, innocent Marry is startled to comprehend she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist her quiet beauty, yet feels the need to hide, inner and out beauty, wit, and self-determining spirit, He admits he wants her, too- but on his terms.
The couple embarks on a daring, fervently corporeal affair, she determines the CEO's secrets and explores her dark desires and lust for her.
‘It was a yearning to burn.’ Computers and robots have taken over the world, nobody needs to read any of that shit, or think. Everything is at our fingertips with cell phones, I pad, and computers, without looking through old dusty pages, plus Its agents the law to think for yourself and read any books.
The year 3080 which at first appears as a utopian society but is revealed to be a dystopian one as the story progresses with a forbidden love story mixed in. How would you like to live in a grayed-out world of sight- where there is no color and feeling has become cold?
The world’s darkest enemies have returned, sacrificing her child for love and love for freedom, those, have been part of Nevaeh, that care the most about have been killed for her essences of life to remain, or have found why to trick the minds that are inside there’s.
Curses and a dark spell with magic, memories- and minds withering, and time without end make a reunion for eternal void for lost souls. Desperate to break the curse. And in her mission, she gets help from an unexpected source; Nevaeh and Naddalin have gone through countless lives and fought off the world’s darkest enemies so they could be together- and that they are, should they be?
Notwithstanding her fierce loyalty, magical talents, and mysterious past. She’s always believed they were soulmates had a true love- and she still believes it to be true. Even as they pull away to save themselves from the darkness dwelling her soul, linking with cultivates stronger become stronger friends- and tests her love for her and all of them, like never- ever before.
Nevaeh and Naddalin’s love at this time- stronger than ever- yet death is the thoughts that cannot leave Nevaeh’s mind, Naddalin and Nevaeh have body and mind flopped. Bones' last test of time. The story of Zoey & Uncle John- and forbidden romance- yet- ‘That’s Life- no?’ Zoey well away way be remembering more than her hometown of Hastings- more than the ones that made her end her life all too soon- and tragically.
A story of- a writer wanting to do the right thing for a man that wants a legacy, a story of a poor and passionate young man who falls in love with a young girl, after moving to the U.S of A for Italy, knowing nothing about the ways of the world other the old century and hard work, you will go through this romances novel, finding your way to old age, where all you do is look back and say I did okay- along with saying: ‘That’s-a life- no?
He well met a young lady, that will give him a sense of freedom. And a new love of life, until the last days of his own. Until the last of hers… Zoey touched my lives including the writers- with her scrapbook- that became timeless- unlike the ones that hated on her- she will be remembered- and they will not.
Middle-grade story heartwarming and feel good along with delightful read. The Shut Generation- (Name can change if needed) Softball team- young girls come together for a summer to make life-lasting memories.
‘A coming of age, a story about a girl getting to know herself and her girlfriends- intimately, all over one summer games of softball- they called this… find out why the legendary Babe of the Yankees makes into the story.’
Babe makes his way into the story and looks over girls that did not see eye to eye come together and play like girls in a game of summertime ball every night even if their girls, they changed thoughts of men, that girls can play just as hard as boys!
That a young girl can love a girl and not be judged, by a town, and even if they would not care, and the memories would last a lifetime and more, the uniforms may have faded like the photos yet not, the flashbacks, of a summer love over softball. A story on the same lines as The Sandlot, a bunch of girls getting together for summer to play softball 2 girls that are interested in becoming more than just friends is kind of the plot, leads into lifelong memories sadness regret in remembrance of all things that pass.
Backstory, Babe Ruth- grandchild is in the story as well as the grandfather of one of the girls in the children who give the title of the story and the generation that was coming up. Tween book, ‘A coming of age, a story about a girl getting to know herself and her girlfriends- intimately, all over one summer game of softball- they called this… find out why the legendary.
The Babe makes his way into the story and looks over girls that did not see eye to eye come together and play like girls in a game of summertime ball every night even if their girls, they changed thoughts of men, that girls can play just as hard as boys! That a young girl can love a girl and not be judged, by a town, and even if… they would not care, and the memories would last a lifetime and more, the uniforms may have faded like the photos yet not, the flashbacks, of a summer love over softball.
The Shut Generation- Softball team our young girls coming together for a summer to make life-lasting memories. These girls are now here with us, and they would like to share their stories with you.
Backstory, Andy is a wired yet bright teenager who is nerdy- and looks and meek demeanor to the others in his class- he makes himself a favorite target her is a dream girl and also the one that doesn’t get him. His life at school seems to improve when he befriends Jaylynn, a cute new girl who becomes his fast love interest, she protects him from harassment. In a final effort to impress her they both fall deep- and fast in cute love, trusting in each other- for what they both need.
Backstory, Jaylynn Fairytale- One apron a time there, was once an ironic gentleman whose wife lay sickening, with cancer, and when she felt her finish coming, and portrayal close… she christened- to her only daughter to come near her bed, and said: ‘darling teenager, be moral, ethical, honest and virtuous, and God, and the one above, that using the phrase all the days, will always take care of you, in times of low; and, I will look down upon you from heaven high, and will be with you, till the end of your days.’
Backstory, moments that Would not Fade- Every summer, Kristin, Poppy, and Gram live in Gram’s house on stands in Ridgeway, near the water. Kristin lives in the Highlands, in a small town, with her father and her grandmother- formally orphaned- and looking for a home and has nothing but snapshots of the past to look back on. Kristin’s mother died when Kristin was a very small girl, but Kristin is content to be who and where she is- along with moments that will not fade.
Backstory, Martrace ‘Hope’ Dicksnoter- is a young sweet, smart, young girl who is not loved, yet shows that she is a brain. She finds a home with a teacher and gets what she has always wanted a loving family. ‘
It just someday in some year- in 1921- she was let in the back of the 1918 Buick Pick up with a wood bed- and was forgotten about even if it was her birthday,’ A very gifted girl forced to put up with a crude, distant father and mother, Worse, the evil principal at her school is a terrifyingly strict bully. However, when she realizes she has the power books, she begins to defend her friends from wrath and fight back against her unkind parents.
Why is it a 10-year-old named: Bryana must end this way? A story that is touching, and well makes you cry- as you read about this young life that ends too soon, yet young love is what keeps it all together. It was a fight to keep going, yet she did- with the hope of her love in her life… she passed happy, knowing that she had everything she ever wanted.
Neveah is having times where she has remembrances of all things past, that led to flashbacks and then also lingering in otherworldly remembrance.
The backstory to the magical world, Savannah- A mermaid princess living in secret on land- on what was once Earth- now left dark and mysterious, and the sea foaming in a trance green, are mermaid has ended up inadvertently merged to her insufferable fellow citizen, instead of the boy of her dreams. Overworlds in one can be two.
The book opens with, Nevaeh is a 14-year-old girl living in Pennsylvania at the start of this story around the 2000s. Nevaeh is a person under the authority control of another.
First chapter:
'The power behind words and voices is substantial to life! I dedicated this book to all of you readers before you even read it, to understand- the book of misunderstandings for the misunderstood. To have a voice, when you were made not have one or told not to have one. Maybe if you are like me, trying to get your voice back, this is the story you need. Nonetheless, let us not fail to remember all the voices, which will never speak again, for being rejected and misunderstood.'
'Yes, be that voice with this book, this book is for you, to speak up, and be heard.'
'Why?'
'So, there are no more lost and forgotten voices of life. This book is a steppingstone to abolish bullying altogether, along with your help; we can take that step forward and forget about the past!'
'At this time, I would like you all to take a moment of silence, to remember someone that is no longer with us. So, they are not forgotten.'
Preface:
'To understand, you must read between the lines of a story just like mine. My wrong if you do not read this book, is you will find out fast that life is going to suck, and then you make the discovery that you are going to die alone, and the hex- I have will now be on you.'
'At least that is what I thought; I thought I read my story before it was written, and this note was the last thing that I was going to write. However, I never realized that there was so much more to life, which I did not appreciate. I came near a stone's throw away from the end. Yet I got additional unplanned lifespans. Yet was the second chance what I needed?'
'Nevertheless, there were things that I concerned my mind with, which were not substantial to my existence.'
'If anything- learn from me. Try to do the virtuous things I did and not the mistakes I made. Though it is up to you to decide what was good or bad, it is what you feel and believe is morally right in your mind.'
'Yeah- I never really put any thought into what was going to happen to me someday, and the others that are part of my surroundings.'
'However, life goes on, and the existence of what was stands for nothing but- a memory of what you can and cannot have. If you are someone like me, but all I ever wanted was someone that appreciates me. They say life is free or is it. Do I want it- No- not really!'
'The existence of life…!' 'Is what I do not want to have anymore. There must be a way out of all this misery that I live in today. 'They say dying is easy, as well as lasting, and living is difficult and uncertain.' While- I am going to find out!'
'Life is all about what you want, need, and love.'
'Likewise, existing in life comes down to what you cannot have in it.'
'All I have to say is do not let anyone or anything pin you down and make you less than whom you are. Always be whom you were meant to be, regardless of what they say… because who in the hell are they!'
'My story- is graphic at times, just like looking into a black and white photo of the past in a scrapbook. All the color in it washes away over time, one way or another. Besides all that is left is still frames that keep on fading, and distorting.'
'On the morning I was scheduled to die, I saw my life as if I had lived it to its whole. Oh, the captivating angel beamed lovingly as she roamed forward help me hang myself, a part of me felt death, and other parts of my mind, body, and soul felt as if it would never dye.'
Chapter: 1 First Vision of Emotions
(The very next day)
'I am enduring will standing alone bare and yes, I am completely naked to the world outside. So, unprotected by the atmosphere above and around me, so unlike- the day, I was born into this hellish world.'
'My life was not always like this! Still as of now, I stand trembling on top of this cruel land, which I call my hereditary land or my hometown.'
'Some still call me by my name, and that is 'Nevaeh May Natalie.'
'Some of the others, like the kids I go to school with in this land, have other titles for me.'
'However, you can identify me by the name of 'Nevaeh.' That is if you want to.'
'I do not think that even matters to you, my name is… it has been replaced and it is not significant anymore. Nor does my name matter to anyone out there for miles around. At least that is the way it seems to me, standing here now as I see the bus come to take me there.'
'Names or not said to me, 'I feel alone!' I whispered to myself.'
'It is like I am living a dream. I did not think my nightmare of orgasmic, tragic, and drizzling emotions pouring in my mind would last this long.'
('Class, faces, names, done.')
'It is like a thunderstorm pounding in my brain, as it is today outside. I have come home from yet another day of hell that would be called- school to you.'
'I do not even go into the house until I have this restricting schoolchild uniform torn off my body. I feel like my skin is crawling with bugs when it is on my figure.'
(Outside in the fields, next to the tracks)
'It is middle September, and I am standing in the rain. It is so cold, so lonely, and so loveless! Additionally, this is not usual for me, I am always bare around my house, I have my reason you will see.'
'The rain has been falling on me like knives ever since the moment I got off the yellow bus.'
'A thunderbolt clattered, more resonant than anything ever heard previously.'
'All the rain is matting my long brown hair on me as it lies on my backside longer than most girls. Yet I am okay with that at last, I am free.'
(I have freedom)
'To a point! I still feel so trapped by all of them.'
'Ten or twenty minutes have now passed; I am still in the same very spot. Just letting water follow me down. I am drenched!'
'I can feel the wetness as it lingers in my hair for a while, so unforgivably soaking my body even more as if sinking within me washing me clean.'
'Counting my sanctions, I feel satisfied in a way when I do feel it dropping offends my hair, as if 'God' is still in control of my life, even if I was sent to and damned to hell.'
'Like it is wiping away everything that happened to me today, away from the day of the past too.'
'The wetness is still running down the small of my back thirty minutes must have passed, and it is like my mind is off.'
'Currently, it follows the center point on my back. Then down in-between my petite butt cheeks. Water and bloodstream off my butt to the ground near the heels of my feet. I can feel as if that part of me is washed clean from the day that I had to go through.'
'Some of this shower is cascading off my little face, and it slowly collects on my little boobs, where it beads up and separates into two different watercourses down to my belly button.'
'I estimate this, as it goes all the way down the front of me. It trickles down on me, to where it turns the color of light pink off my 'Girly Parts.' As they would never be the same.'
'Almost like a waterfall gushing in-between my legs at this moment currently. Kissing, loving, and creasing me like, as my mud-covered toes, as I sink them in the dirt. My legs are so weakly holding me upright, after standing so long.'
'The pounding rains get more powerful. Making me fall to the ground with a soft thud, now covered by clay. Where I will remain until I feel that I can get up and over what has transpired from the day of hell I had and what has happened to me. That is if I can, like if I can accept this all, as I look down at myself. The dropping rain is weeping for me, like 'God’s tears, even after this I still believe in.'
'The pain triples within me also like the thoughts all at the same time, I start rolling around, like a pig in mud. I have the sensation like I have been ripped into two parts in my centered hips and vagina.'
'However, it is like it is all pounding down on me at once. I look up to the sky, lying on my backside. It jostles me, the thought of what it is that I want to do… with myself to escape.'
'Even with all this rain. I feel that my vagina will surely never feel the same, or like it is clean again. It is all because of them!'
'No!' I scream.
'The rainwater can only wash away somewhat of what they have done to me. Never all of it… never- ever! It cannot wash away all my fears that I have. They have sucked my bean above the hole! Tugged on the hood, until I thought they would bite it off me completely. That is why I am bleeding! Nevertheless, the school would not do anything about this, over I was the one that started it all; as the instigator.'
'They rubbed and touched me in all the places, yet this one the most. They ripped my black hole wide open, with their hateful fingernails and slashing teeth.'
'I cannot run away from them. They always find me! Always, I have nowhere to run or to hide!'
'I cannot stop them from fingering, stabbing, and sucking at me! My nipples are raw! They beat me up for enjoyment. Pledging with 'God' saying this must stop. Yet it goes on every school day.'
'I must get away from them. I need to get away! ('I just need to okay!') It is like these visions of what my life's existence about comes and goes away from me.' I see my life before I live it out in its entirety.'
'Sometimes, it's like I am black, I am not biased, bigoted, discriminatory, prejudiced, antiblack, and racialist, let us get that clear; yet this is the category, I was placed in, as a girl owned by man, that thinks I should never do anything more than be something like a worker in a field, as a slave to pay back my debts to be who I am to them in their hate.'
'The air that is around me now, is making my slit labia skin hurt with burn and sting. Burning hotter than a flame, before snuffed out! I know how a candle feels, struggling not to be blown out by the rushing air, or being snuffed out.'
'It's like they have a new addiction and that is the hole in my body that makes me a lady.'
'Just if you are wondering, I put my teddy in my backpack right after getting off the bus, after getting hazed by having him. he is incredibly significant to me.'
'I walk over to my bookbag, and see him down in their look at me, and find my one pink notebook. I open it to that one page I penned, the one that I have dogeared. 'There it is!' I say as I rip it out, it recollects the day.'
'The paper is jagged and wet, but I have an adieu note in my hand. I made it earlier in school, at lunch, when I was sitting alone; on this wrinkled up pink notebook paper. The black ink is running like a watercolor all over all my trembling, quivering, shivering, and childlike penmanship handwriting. All it has on it are all words that need to be said, about my existence in life, not living! Decidedly not.'
'They're all there the notes the things, places, events, and even smalls, maybe spelled incorrectly, but there regardless, all have gone in this book of life I call- Sh-h as if making the most long-spun book in the world, with all my pages, are thick; all pasted, shoved and slammed together, furthermore mismatched, yet all has been said, in my enchanting written long run-ons of memories, the way I fancy to remember.'
'I believe that like I am existing, not living! I have that down, as the first line of this page; next to all the doodles.'
'It is as if I have all these flashbacks, to the point it haunts me. Even at the strangest times, my mind drifts off, to dreamlike places.'
''It is all because of them!' I thought to myself, as I saw the note, and read it back to myself under my breath.'
'I have every right to be annoyed, feel disturbed, and scared. Why not record everything in a story, and hope not to sound too crazy, yet a little is okay.'
'Look at me! Now and close your eyes tightly. My mind is like- 'Yes, no, maybe…' and what do you believe, and think? Yes, I have contradicted myself. I care too much about what you think of me as if damaged, by words, and wicked hands.'
'Now can you see me?' I believe, like, I can still see all of them, in the past and now, and even you are judging me now.'
'I was never more like some of you: popular, accessible, attractive, and stylish and loved. Oppositely maybe you are like me, which fits into everything that category is- or oppositely is not.'
(I scream)
'Do you see my teardrops, that splash out of my blue eyes? Do you see everything I do? Do you see my brown hair that covers them and hides my true emotions in class? Do you even care? Do you feel what I felt right now? Can you feel my hurting insides? Nope, no one can feel that unless they exist!'
'Have you ever had to feel just like I do? Can you see my makeup mixing with my teardrops, as it all falls to the ground like my emotions, passions, and caring? If not, you are just as heartless as them!'
'No one is born condemning another soul because of the sensuality of our skin or their background or their faith, everything in my life is like trickling down my body, and away from me in every way imaginable.'
'As a result, the only thing I can do is get up and raise my hands to the heavens in the rain. While shouting the question- 'Why did you let this happen to me?'
'I hear that small voice in my head again, it's a small whisper saying: 'End it! End it! As I was looking into the glow of the light of the envisioned angel of death.''
'I have nothing but my split thoughts rushing in my head. Like a screaming bolt of lightning cracking in the sky above me.'
''Hum, should I just end it all?' I mean I am only fourteen years old. Though there is not one person around here for me. Not one which is going to miss me at all.'
'I proceeded to that gloomy conclusion a long time ago. I would not be remembered. Would anyone remember me? Would anyone care? I should end it all right now?'
'I reminisce about me clutching my uniform, and how I would achieve my departure. The same awful uniform that I tugged, unsnapped, and ripped off myself, an hour ago, I see it over there like it is staring me down with a glint of evil.'
'Calling out as it is lying in the mud. I crawl over on my hands and knees, grabbing my minor skirt away from the button-down top, pulling the tie out of the collar. To do what must be fulfilled obeyed.'
'Holding the tie in my small hands. I pause and glance at my fingernails, which are painted lime green with pink straps, knowing this would be the last time I will.'
''Curse them all!' I say, will make the undone dark blue tie into a nose, looping, twisting, and coiling it through itself making it snugger around my neck.'
'Notwithstanding that pain is nothing like what they put me through. Just like chivalry is dead, just like everything I do is felonies attached, by trying to live.'
'Notwithstanding that pain is nothing like what they put me through. Just like chivalry is dead, just like everything I do is felonies attached, by trying to live.'
'Nevertheless, if I was truly blessed by the holy water, from 'God,' then I am taking all the excrements that are in 'God' flush, with this rain shower as of this moment; as if it is only dumping on me.'
'At most inconsiderable with aforementioned, it's accomplished and finished speedy.'
'Forgetting, I also remember regarding that last fall, that I would relish my legacy, never thinking it would be my writing that would stand the test of time.'
'I have the belt and the tie around my collar attached to the angel oak tree, next to the swing the rope from the childhood swing.'
'Now with my eye one twitching, I hang above the girl by three feet. Death has found me.'
''Oh yes!' Ha, it would be my peace, tranquility at last, yet still, I did not know where I was going.'
'Certainly, I don't desire to hang myself, but at the same time, I did, the angel was right, after all, she knew me, and I loved her more than life, yes a girl.'
'The voices in my head are going away and the light is more vibrant.'
'I did not have a choice at duration, as if someone were thinking for me? Oh assuredly, I dangle!'
'The drawing of the monarch butterfly, the pointed star, the hand over my face, and my one blue eye in the tri, now litter the ground in my notes and drawings.'
'Yes, the ultra-freedom of tree branches above me, the hinging of the foliage, the sun cascading until night, to the shooting stars to the following daybreak.'
'This ancient tree is next to the rundown house, next to the tracks! The home of loneliness and it feels as empty inside as I did, yet it is not empty at all.'
Exceptionally, I look here the next day when I am found, some ask 'why?' And with 'she's too young.'
'Yet, it was good riddance in mocking me with a stigma, 'to have one less retard with disabilities on the streets, that we someday must pay for with tax money that would molest our children, or creep on them, like a stocker, over not knowing better.''
'Nothing lost,' said the town, looking at me, along with 'just an unwanted expense, and waste of life and time; she was doing nothing but taking away from some child that wants to learn in their education.'
'All she wanted to be more attention, the sick freak.'
'I wanted to show them what hate looks like! And this is it, I did this so that everyone from my school of hell, and ass hole of a town can see me up here in the tree naked and hanging I got the idea from them.'
''Dope out and kill yourself.' Their true words, not mine.'
'That way everyone, even here, would be able to see me, with their own eyes.'
'One grave would not change a society's mentality of mind; I would be another left-behind.' Furthermore, like an art piece, they can see the wounds that they did to me; if they did not care the outside world would come out of this three-mile radius, from where I am at.'
Realizing all the gashes, which they gave me over time, and the ones, I give myself because of them. They all can look at me like this just art, and see it all, just like this, I see it every day when I look at my reflection anyway. They all can think- about what they have done to me.'
'However, I do not think they would care, and they did not. Yet the world that would be another story, if they did see me hanging there bare, lifeless, and limp; this story would not have been said to be a teen voice of hope.'
'I thought at that point, that I dyed at fourteen as a virgin, said, I know, yet that may not be true. When I was sure, by the girls bragging to me always, they were solely made women around and near the time they all turned the age of twelve.'
'As a girl, you are letting out part of your body to a boy, and most young men don't get this, and trusting them of letting you start the gift of life.'
'Remember you do not need to get pregnant at any age, your girls have contraceptives, as they did.'
'You must lie there spread, to have a baby; even I know that. Yet that is why we have a marriage, before getting it on, a commitment of you being your daddy possession still virgin with his name until you now have given to a man for 25 dollars to only now be taking your new love last name and his hard loving, as he claims you as his possession, yet he should keep you for all that understanding.'
'They have no emotions for me in their pea-brained minds, to feel anything. I ask- can you grasp me like a hug; can you feel me, as I feel now? Can you get the impression of me hanging there, all by myself, have you been there? I am so lonesome and afraid!'
'I wanted to be like them, to be plagued pretty and guilty in the ah of such surrender.'
'You know, I do feel as if I would be better off being dead! Don't you think so too? I know you do. How did I let things get so out of hand? Or did I? Is this all meant to be? Really… I do not know?'
'I just do not know what to believe anymore. I swung through the air and plunged as I jumped off the branch. I arranged it right!'
'Simply, like I planned this, as it was said. One way or another, I never come to my senses. I never got loose from the nose, on my tree next to my child-like swing. I know that I was dead and everything, yet something happened to me like the day rewound, to that moment, of the big fall, of me falling. Yet this time, I slipped out of the tie, and fell hard to the ground below, as if I were, I was still yet not alive the day of the attempted suicide.'
'That is when I walked into the home as if I would have like any other day, with my head down, going to take a bath and get ready for supper, with guardian Hope. Plus went up to the steps up to my room dripping wet my braindead mind puzzled.'
'My sweet brown shaggy teddy bear was the only thing I grabbed covering my body from dinner, then I went into my room. My pink nighty top on my bed from the night before. Truly, I did not care about my nakedness anymore; I am wild, continuous, unbroken, and untamed.'
'Moderate retardation books,' said Hope when she picked them up under her breath, showing them back into the unzipped backpack.
'I feel so weird, like never; I sat stark naked in my bed soaking wet, rocking hoping for nightfall to come. to see if the next day I would have to go to school.'
'How? I do not know. Just like fast-forwarding it will only dawn another day. That is going to repeat all the hell ones more, I am just sure of that.'
'Previously this is my question, I asked myself, as I am laying in my bed holding onto my teddy bear far too tightly. 'Is it me who is the problem, or the ones that are all around me?'
I answer myself- 'I know that there is not one person on this planet, who genuinely cares if I am even here or not.' Oh, 'God' - 'Why does my life have to be like this?'
'I do not think I can take any more of living in this town or going to this school!'
End of the first charter...
